Dear Breakfast Taco Cheese,
I don't even know where to start, I don't know where we went wrong. But sometime, somewhere along the way our relationship got a bit out of hand. I'm so sorry to write this to you in a letter, but I just couldn't think of any other way to do it.
I'm trying to make a lot of changes in my life, and right now, you are holding me back. There are so many jeans I want to wear, and bikinis I dream of wearing. But when you are around, it just never seems to happen. Maybe you just don't want me to be happy.
So I think we need to take a break. It's not you, it's me. Well okay, really it's you. You just carry so much baggage with you. All these calories, it's all I ever think about. I know I shouldn't judge. You didn't ask for the calories, it just happens. And they hang around constantly. Oh, I'm so sorry. I know how much this must hurt you. Please, wait, please, don't start melting on me...you know what that does to me.
Maybe in another time, we can try our relationship again. You know, start slow. Maybe I'll see you in an omelet. But only a little bit. And I do have to confess. There is someone else right now. I have to be honest. I just couldn't get through it alone. So please try not to start any drama when you see Salsa hanging around. He's a good guy. He has calories too, but only 10. You have 110!!
I'm so sorry, there I go again. Judging you because of your calories.
P.S. I love you, I've always loved you.