Thursday, April 29, 2010

Test Kitchen Baby

Wow, it's been such a long time since I have written. But I figure what better way than to jump right in there. My name is Eliza and I am blessed that not too many things rhyme with Eliza so I didn't get teased that much as a know like "Chris piss" "Lacey Spacey". I got lucky with that one, yet still managed to come out a bit wacky.

I have two beeeeuuutiful girls. Mirah who is three and just learned the phrase "Rock and Roll!!" Followed by her doing a mean air guitar riff ala Alvin and the Chipmunks. And we have precious, little Phoenix who is 1 and a half (I don't believe in all that months's too damn confusing)--I just had this conversation with Charlotte the check out lady at Walmart, and how she was appreciative that I said 1 and a half and not 18 months ( that right?)

How old is your baby mam? "Oh she's 87 months old now..." (fake smile, fake smile). I think some moms do that just so they can test your intelligence level. Like if she can't calculate how old my baby is in years, then I am totally counting my change twice.
Phoenix is my little fire cracker and is learning all kinds of valuable stuff lately. Like hitting you and then telling you to stop. Giiirlll you hit me!! Why are you telling me to stop? I think that's pretty advanced for one don't you think. That is some psychological stuff. I think Mirah paused once after Phoenix hit her, and Phoenix tells her "Top it", then Mirah looks confused and says "I'm sorry". Poor baby. I'm gonna have to keep an eye on that one.

She's getting a little older so we have been able to take off some of the baby proofing gear. The main one being the baby gate. Okay, okay, really we broke it. I told Kris (my husband) it must have fallen off the hinge from over use, but really we were having 'Rodriguez Spring Olympics' in the kitchen and my foot got caught on the latch in the 2 meter hurdle and ripped that sucker clear off the hinge. It was amazing really, we weren't sure if the score was gonna count, but after a 5 minute discussion, both chihuahuas held up their score cards...I got a 17 out of 20...thank-you-very-much!!
But we do have to leave that weird latchy thing on the cabinets by where the sink is. Because it's the universal place where we all keep our cleaning products and guns, and nuclear warfare. I tried the linen closet once but all the hand grenades kept falling off the shelf, and the insurance was starting to get expensive. Sometimes we forget to hook it back on, and of course that's where Phoenix goes. It makes me crazy, I have to pick her up, rip her little pencil and inventory card away from her hands and she cries and cries..."Mama, mama...we need mo beech."
The other day she was in there and had a large piece of tile with blue tape down the middle with some jelly on each side. And then she handed me the Clorox wipes and the Method wipes. I guess she wanted me to make up my mind. Do I want to kill the germs or save the environment. I just couldn't decide after that. Of course I had to clean it all up ( I used the Method by the way), and she cried and cried again..."Mama, mama...the survey will only take five minutes of your time."
Well I ain't got that kind of time sugar...can't you see I need to Facebook!